


I'm Not Lost [Improved]

by MaLBoL



Category: Block B, GOT7, 방탄소년단 | Bangtan Boys | BTS
Genre: Angst, Established Relationship, Everyone Loves Kim Namjoon | RM, Gen, Geographical Inaccuracies, Kidnapping, Killing, Kim Namjoon | RM Is a Little Shit, Kim Namjoon | RM-centric, M/M, Mafia AU, Multi, Murder, Other, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Polyamory, Violence
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-04-27
Updated: 2019-06-06
Packaged: 2020-02-08 12:03:55
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 13,061
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18622939
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MaLBoL/pseuds/MaLBoL
Summary: The Brat stood behind Namjoon’s slouching figure, resting his head on the male right stiffened shoulder. Their arm aligned beautifully together as the Brat’s cold hand supported Namjoon’s trembling one.“Why are you shaking so much? Shouldn’t this be familiar to you?”





	1. Unfortunate Encounters

**Author's Note:**

> Words: 2655  
> (?) : these are linked to where I got the images from
> 
> Enjoy :P  
> I still don't know how to use AO3!!

Namjoon slowly opens his left eye as the semi-sheer dirty brown cloth covering his sight began to loosen from the constant movement.

‘Fuck, how long was I out for?’

His vision clouded as it involuntarily adjusts to the dim light emitting from the lonely dying bulb from above. Panic blazed through his body as he regained more of his consciousness. Namjoon starts to thrash around, making obscure noise through the rough fabric. Realising that his actions would be a waste of energy, he sat still and absorbed the situation. The sour lingering taste in his mouth from the mixture of his stale saliva being absorbed by the fibres of the fabric. The smell of thick rusty metallic air burning his nose and clogging his lungs. The uneasy movement disturbing the food he had ingested. The body which sat dead still directly opposite him.

The vehicle annoying jolted causing the back passengers to find their balance to prevent themselves from falling over.

Namjoon snorted at the ungodly, shouldn’t even be happening circumstances.

He focuses his attention on the boy opposite him. He looks young, way too young to be going down this road towards death. His dark brown hair laid restlessly, matted and dirtied. His skin bruised and painted with dried petals of blood, his eyes and mouth covered, his shoulders tensed; alerted of his surroundings. Even in this current situation, he looks like an artwork sculpted to portray a powerful expression. Speaking to you without a single caption. It’s mesmerizing.

Focus.

The boy wore a once clean plain white tee with a worn-out grey zip-up hoody and a washed out blue jeans decorated with a large red blooming flower.

‘Oh shit, he’s wounded.’

Namjoon shook at the sight and became numb, he didn’t know what to do. The wound looks like it was inflicted by a bullet.

‘What am I supposed to do against someone with a gun? And whilst I’m bound up.’

He was losing his sanity, his brain keeps generating all of the worst case scenarios, like having the gun barrel lined at his head after being senselessly beaten and tortured. The hope of survival that he dearly held onto was rapidly seeping out of his pores like sweat on an unbearably hot summer day.

‘I don’t want to die in whatever way they have scheduled for me.’

Tears trailed down the curve of Namjoon’s face as he laughed mockingly at himself. At how he managed to get himself into this pitiful situation

‘Come on Namjoon, think, use that brain of yours.’

With both of his hands and legs restrained, Namjoon options were limited.

Assuming that the boy on the other side of the vehicle is still alive; he needs to get over there and get the boy to undo his ropes. If he gets there and the boy happened to be dead then Namjoon is willing to admit defeat and face his sad ending, after he cries and thanks every good and bad moment that happened in his life, except this one. Then frantically worm away after registering that he's next to a dead body. Not a lot of people like being close to a dead body and those people include Namjoon. Nothing wrong with being okay with being close to dead bodies, it's just not for him.

Namjoon begins his plan by scooting on this numbing butt towards the boy. The distance between them wasn’t far, four or five scoots at most, more if unlucky. Before Namjoon had the chance to scoot the second time the vehicle came to an aggressive halt, causing Namjoon to lose his balance and painfully landing on his side with a thud, crushing his right arm. A loud honk followed by muffled curse words could be heard from outside along with the background noise of the busy city and road congestion playing in tune.

‘Fuckin’ Bastard. Can’t even fuckin’ drive.’ One of the kidnappers slurred in a thick voice.

‘Looks at you Mr Thick Voice, fucking spit whatever is in your throat out if you’re going to sound like that. Complaining about how others can’t drive but you’re kidnapping people. It’s probably your fucking fault in the first place.’

Namjoon thought to himself in a mumbling tone.

“I heard a noise coming from the back. Go and check it.” The other kidnapper barked.

‘Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.’

Namjoon’s body stiffens in panic.

“Nah, it was probably one of the guys fallin’ over from the stop. They said the drug last several hours, so we good.”

‘Thank god and hyung’s caring stay safe out there speech. And fuck both of you.’

The vehicle starts moving again after the mini incident.

Now that the vehicle is moving Namjoon continued with his plan, rolling on his sides like a log towards the boy. He would occasionally curse when the vehicle ran over an uneven part of the road leaving Namjoon breathless, but quickly recover and pursuit onwards.

When Namjoon has gotten close enough, he pushed himself up using his head and skilful body movements. Surprisingly the boy was still upright even after multiple jolts and aggressive sways, it’s slightly creepy the more Namjoon think about it. The boy’s breathing was short and shallow, but he’s breathing.

Confirming that the boy is alive, Namjoon shifted as close as possible towards the boy so that Namjoon’s back was facing the boy’s side. He wiggled his hands towards the other’s retrained one to untie the rope, the boy filched.

‘I don’t understand why you’re flinching when I touched your hands but not when I was worming my limbs between your body and the vehicle walls. Like, what the fuckery? Chill, it’s not like I’m taking your hand in marriage. I’m not into those commitment shit. Which part of the brain are you even using for you to be that selective?’

Namjoon stressed in his mind in case his words would magically telepath into the boy’s head.

He fumbled around the rope, trying to mentally imagine what is going on behind his back.

‘Finally.’

The boy wiggled his hands out of the rope once it was loosened enough. Namjoon leaned his back against the wall as he waits for the other to get rid of the restrains from his face and legs. After a short while he went to undo Namjoon’s ropes around his legs and hands but stopped when the vehicle movement became harsher as the ground crunches under the tires, the speed began to decrease, indicating that they were going off-road.

The boy roughly pushed Namjoon, giving distance between the two. Namjoon was once again laying on the floor. This time he’s not even planning on moving, the blow was annoyingly strong and he’s tired, really tired.

‘This fucker, after all the trouble I went through.’

The boy got up and rushed towards the right door and hid there.

‘Okay, so you pushed me for what purpose? You could at least untie my hands.’

Namjoon rolled his eyes.

The vehicle came to a complete stop, followed by the sound of the driver and passenger doors opening as heavy footsteps on the stone ground chomped toward the back of the vehicle in a fast pace.

“Hurry up, we’re late.” Mr Bossy Pants said.

“Shut up.”

The kidnappers unlocked the vehicle back doors, the sound of the key being entered echoed slightly on the inside.

Click.

Namjoon watch as the left doors slowly open, the boy changed his position; standing in an angle ready to attack. As the door open wide enough for one of the kidnappers to see the whole interior of the vehicle, he realised that one of their captives wasn’t there. The boy took this opportunity to take a stepped forward as the kidnapper was about to turn to his partner in crime and push-kicked the kidnapper in the face with his booted right foot with determined strength, the kick sent the kidnapper off unconsciously laying on the ground and out of Namjoon’s sight.

Namjoon snorted.

There’s were total silence until the other kidnapper spoke up.

“What the fuck!”

‘Oh, it’s Mr Thick Voice. Your reaction is as thick as you sound.’

Namjoon laid there watching the improvised play in front of him unfold into chaos.

Mr TV grabbed his clichély place gun from the back of his trouser waistband and aimed the weapon at the escapee as the boy dashes out of the vehicle. Mr TV aimlessly fired five shots. All the bullets, of course, missed the target.

‘Aren’t there like a rule where dumb people shouldn’t possess any weaponry? It’s a waste of resource. Ugh. What a great combo; far enough for gunshots to not reach the ears of locals and me being left behind like a sack of potatoes in a cupboard. I swear if I get out of here alive, I’m going to… to… slap him right across the face.’

Namjoon sighed heavily through his nose.

His vision stood still, greyish green leaves waved depressingly slow in the distance, hazing his mind into standby. The sound of fired gunshots, bullets clacking on solid surfaces, the boy’s running footsteps and oncoming walking footsteps temporary etch his mind.

The sound of footsteps coming toward the back vehicle at a steady pace snapped Namjoon out of his trance. A tall figure stood proudly in front of Namjoon view, blocking the animated scenery. His facial features were shadowed, but it was still apparent that he was a young, good-looking man.

“Well, look what we have here.” His voice was deep as well as incredibly smooth and soft. You could practically feel the velvet tones with your body and visualise what it could look like. It's like a warm silver spoon cutting into soft ice cream, the solidified state oozing outwards at the touch of the metallic weapon or when a block of butter melts on steamy freshly made pancakes, drizzled with golden sweet tooth goodness, touching every curve of the body before dripping off.

Oh, I’m hungry.

The tall figure stepped onto the vehicle with a satisfying click of his polished shoe.

‘Look at you and your fancy suit, shoes, and attitude. I’ll name you, Brat.’

Namjoon rolled his eyes, giving up on life at this moment of time. He wouldn’t even mind if death was one second away, to take his miserable soul.

([?)](https://kmgram.com/user/vhobiii_bts)

The Brat grabbed a hand full of hair at the back of Namjoon’s head, pulling Namjoon’s body upright so that they were face to face. They were a good ruler length away from each other, he could definitely say that he’s good looking. The Brat tightens his grip causing Namjoon to respond with a sharp glare.

“That’s a pretty cute reaction.”

‘Fucking asshole.’

“It’s a shame that the situation became like this. I was hoping for less action, but that bitch had to intervene. He even disappeared and left you all alone. Just saying, he was the one who made it difficult for both of us.”

‘You see I wouldn’t also be in this position if your well-behaved kids just let me hop along, minding my own business.’

The Brat smirked devilishly at Namjoon’s I’m done with your shit expression and pushed Namjoon onto the floor.

‘What the fuck is wrong with good-looking guys and pushing people?!’

“Untie his legs and bring him with us.” The Brat commanded to one of his sheep.

One of his followers came into the vehicle as soon as the order was said, of course, Namjoon is going to take this perfect opening and frantically start kicking in every direction when his legs were free. The guy dodged Namjoon’s wild attacks and easily landed a punch on Namjoon’s face, leaving Namjoon laying there shell-shocked.

"Son of a bitch!”

The abuser raised his hands to strike again.

“Donghae!”

A single gunshot jetted passed Namjoon’s direction.

Thump.

The body landed next to Namjoon, laying there with his fish eyes, round and disturbingly revengeful. His third eye on the centre of his forehead cried blood as his body spasm, demanding to live. The guy’s mouth gaped dryly. Namjoon struggled aggressively to get away from the dying entity, managing to get up on his two feet and ran out of the vehicle like a madman.

‘What the fuck. What the fuck. What the fuck. Are you insane!?’

His legs gave up on him as soon as he stepped down from the vehicle and fell on the pebbly ground, the sky was cliché grey, the air became stale and bitter, and everything that surrounded him was filtered with murky pastel colours; rotting away as time tick.

He could feel the right side of face blooming red as blood reacted to the area that had been damaged by the impact. His body was pulsing flames with every passing breath.

The Brat knelt on the ground, placed his cold hand on Namjoon’s cheeks, calming the redness, stroked it softly before pressing down, Namjoon flinched away from the cruel action.

“I’m sorry for Donghae’s rude manners.”

‘You should apologise for yours as well!’

Namjoon wants to shout those words to the Brat’s face so badly.

The Brat got up, dusted off the dirt on his expensive slacks and grabbed for his gun. He placed it gently on the ground in front of Namjoon and whispered.

“Are you angry lil puppy? Would you like to kill me?”

For some odd reason, Namjoon heart jumped at the challenge as if he heard it thousands of time before. This adrenalin coursing through him. His breathing became fast, his hand aches to hold the gun and the desire subduing his morals to dust. It’s agonising. He doesn’t understand why he’s feeling this way. He wants to smile, laugh.

“I’ll let you have it if you kill that thing laying over there.”

Namjoon turned his attention to what the Brat was implying and nodded slowly. The Brat untied his aching hands and let Namjoon undo the fabric around his mouth, he threw it away the damp material and spat out the disgusting waste. The Brat bent down and picked up his gun then offering his hand to help Namjoon up, he led Namjoon on his wobbly knees toward the target, who laid unconscious from the boy’s attack earlier. Namjoon smiled.

The Brat stood behind Namjoon’s slouching figure, resting his head on the male right stiffened shoulder. Their arm aligned beautifully together as the Brat’s cold hand supported Namjoon’s trembling one.

“Why are you shaking so much? Shouldn’t this be familiar to you?” He whispered into Namjoon’s reddened ear mockingly.

Namjoon doesn’t understand what the other meant. He has never handled a gun before. Maybe. All Namjoon could process was that he was given, and he **wants** to take.

“Pull the trigger.”

It was raining before but Namjoon only just realised how soft it was falling. The cold droplets hurt, irritating the exposed skin. At this point, Namjoon doesn’t know whether the water trailing down his face were his tears or the rain, in the end, it’s the same thing. Meaningless.

Namjoon’s vision flickered, the traumatising image of the Donghae’s lifelessness flashed and latched onto his mind, it scares him. He keeps thinking back. Thinking of it. Again. again. AGAIN.

His mind’s playing tricks on him the unconscious body turned into Donghae. It rigidly pushes itself up and started to crawl puppet like, it reached its hand out to Namjoon. Between its fingers, Namjoon could see its eyes piercing through.

His hand shook uncontrollably. His mind becoming blank. He gripped the gun tighter, finger stuttering closer to the trigger.

“Let go.”

Cold hand covered his eyes as his arm fell to his side.

Bang.

His heart hugged itself tightly as a spark pinged through his muscle, he could feel his body losing itself. The sound of the gunshot echoed within his ears; through a gap of the Brat's hand, he could see an engraved name on the gun as he loses consciousness in strong arms.

_Kim Taehyung_


	2. The Ceiling of Questions and White Walls

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Words: 1929  
> (?) : these are linked to where I got the images from
> 
> I said I was going to update on the 29th but I didn't say which month!!!!! :)

Blinding white ceiling filled his vision as he woke up; the humming of nearby machinery hypnotizing his mind into a calming state. His body feels unnaturally heavy as if he had merged himself with the mattress, as he tries to move onto his side his joints feel as if it was rusted in place as discomfort bubbled within his muscles. He decided to not try any further and went back to the annoyingly plain ceiling.

Within Namjoon’s mind are floating questions and lingering thoughts. A lot of questions and a lot of thoughts. So many that he doesn’t know where to start. It’s more than a bother and it’s pissing him off.

How did he even get here? What happened? Where is he?

Namjoon turned his head to his right after amusing himself with the ceiling for a bit. Within his view; straight ahead about three metres away was a tall white cabinet, a door standing to its left and left from the door was a couple sofa sporting a coffee table in front of it. There was also a small table arm length away from the head of the bed, on top of it were a water bottle and a semi-transparent cup next to it. If only Namjoon didn’t feel like shit every time he moved, he would grab the bottle and devour the content and then the bottle. Just kidding. Stay hydrated kids.

Ugh. Namjoon doesn’t know where to look, everything is painfully white, it hurts. It feels surreal with how uniformed it is. It’s odd to the eyes. There’s no variation whatsoever. It’s just white. Paper white. The white you get when you open a blank canvas on Microsoft Paint white. 

‘I think I’m going to lose my mind in here!’

He wants to decorate it. With any mediums and every colours. Bright and colourful. Colours. White. Red. Bl…

Namjoon flinches at the sound of the door being opened and shortly closing afterwards, followed by a faint ‘hyung, he’s awake’ and rushed footsteps furthering away behind the walls.

Namjoon gave a big long sigh.

‘Human interaction. yay.’

 

A couple of minutes later the door opened as three male beings came into the unchanging room. Namjoon followed the tallest male with his eyes as the said male walked around the bed towards a machine to Namjoon’s left. He then brought his attention to the shuffling and pestering whispers towards his right.

As soon as Namjoon saw him his body jerked upwards as his left hand instinctively moves, ripping the IV out and striking the boy across his face. The other two and Namjoon was shocked at his action, his posture stiffened, hand still in mid-air. He doesn’t understand why he did it, but it felt so right. It felt super satisfying.

“You deserve that.” The witnesses said in unison.

“I deserved it.” The boy repeated, agreeing with the two.

The tallest male went back to noting down whatever it was on his clipboard, while the shortest male among the three poured some water into a cup to gives to Namjoon. When he was done refreshing his body with that H2O, the smaller male helped him lay back down.

“Jimin, can you go get the aid kit from the cabinet please.’ The shorter male, Jimin, unnecessarily jogged to get the kit and back, then passed it to the other. Namjoon eyes followed their every movement. The guy accepted it with a 'thank you' and began patching Namjoon’s wounded hand that Namjoon himself didn’t even notice or feel until it was being disinfected.

Jimin lightly tapped Namjoon’s shoulder.

“Let me introduce ourselves. I’m Park Jimin; this big bunny is Jeon Jungkook.” Jimin roughly patted Jungkook’s back, the boy frowned and rolled his eyes at the mention of bunny, “And over there is our mother hen, Kim Seokjin or Jin for short.” Pointing toward the guy who was aiding Namjoon’s hand.

Namjoon stayed silent after the introduction as he observes the three.

 

 

Jin, the tallest of the three, he might almost be Namjoon’s height. His facial features are no doubt unbelievably dazzling to look at; it enough to plant, grow and bloom insecurities and jealousy within an individual, it feels like you’re looking at a lie. It’s too good to be true. His composure gives him this professional aura of an actor playing a role. Refined Perfection. Wrong.

(?)

Jimin, the shortest of the three has that attracting charm oozing out of his flawless being. Don’t be fooled. Under the oversized white hoodie hides a firm and strong body. His bleached hair compromising his soft feature are just disguises to cover the warning screaming and screeching at you to beware. Danger. Run.

 

Jungkook, he hasn’t spoken much and mostly wore a harmless straight face. Lost. His eyes are sharp, analyses his surroundings well, his movements are calculated, sturdy and strong. Namjoon noticed it when he attacked the boy, he was about to dodge it but stopped. He’s a professional. But he’s lost and lost something.

The more Namjoon looks at them the more familiar they become like he knew them on a personal level and for a very long time.

‘Goh they’re really good looking.’

 

“What’s your name?” Jin broke the short silence.

“You already know my name.”

“Huh!?” The trio didn’t know what to say. Maybe. Just maybe.

“Ah, sorry. I don’t know what I just said. It’s Kim Namjoon.” His reply hoarsely. He’s so thankful that Jimin gave him a drink otherwise he would have sounded like Marge Simpson.

Nope. Jin jotted down the information then asked.

“How old are you?”

“24. When’s my birthday.”

“September 12th.” They voiced without thinking.

The corner of Namjoon’s lips curls up slightly as he watches their demeanour losses itself. It was short lived, but it was fun to watch.

“Ah, that’ll make me your hyung along with Yoongi. I’ll introduce you to Hoseok later since he’s born on the same year as you.” He said as he put the clipboard down. “Do you think you can stand up and walk around?”

Namjoon gave a hum signifying that he would rather not, but he’ll do it anyways. He got up slowly, sluggishly swigging his legs onto the cold ground before slipping into a pair slipper nearby. He stood up feeling the disorientation twirling in his head as his vision sway.

‘This is making me feels like shit.’

Jimin and Jungkook caught him before he faceplanted the floor and kept him steady until he found his balance again.

“How long have I been out for?”

“A week and two days.” Jin replied.

‘No wonder my basic human functioning 101 on standing upright is on a wonk.’

 

On their way to the kitchen, it was a bit chaotic in a way that Jimin’s obnoxious babble was beginning to irritate him bit by bit. He was enjoying how cheerful the smaller male was, but his beaming happiness is too much for him right now. He keeps going on about who’s living here and random thing, switching from one topic to another while mid-sentence, it was overwhelming.

the other two were several steps behind them as they watch Jimin distract Namjoon with his nonsense.

“I’m not sure whether its temporary memory loss or he’s just fucking with us.” Jin whispered.

Jungkook hummed, “I think its memory loss but I’m not quite sure. It’s odd that he hasn’t even asked anything about where he was, who we are, what happened or even seem to remember me.”

“His fist remembers you pretty well.”

“Shut up, hyung.”

 

“It’s smelling so good in here!” Jimin quickly trailed the source of the smell.

“Jimin, be careful it’s hot.”

“That’s Hoseok, he’s in charge of cooking today’s dinner. I hope you’re okay with Haejangguk.” Jin said as he rests his chin on Namjoon’s shoulder.

Ignoring his action, Namjoon focused on the smell. His stomach began to growl hungrily as the invisible trail of mouth-watering goodness punches his nose with its strong fragrance of the used ingredients.

“I’m good with anything as long as it fills me up.”

 

They sat at the kitchen bar counter as they wait a little longer for their dinner to get finish up by Jimin. Hoseok decides it was a good time to introduce himself.

[(?)](https://twitter.com/JaiHo_0218?lang=en)

“Hi! I’m Hoseok, it’s nice actually to talk to you after two weeks. If you need anything just tell me.”

Hoseok, a red-haired beauty. He radiates so much energy without doing anything but simply smile. It makes you feel welcomed like you’re home. Namjoon would probably come to him for comfort if he needed one. But something about him seems demanding. Maybe it’s his tone or the way his eyes gleam then gloom. He might not look it but people like him are usually the scariest.

“It’s nice to meet you Hoseok hyung, I’m Namjoon, in case you didn’t already know.” Namjoon gave the best welcoming smile, dimple and beautiful teeth on display.

‘Cute.’ Jin, Hoseok, Jimin and Jungkook thought.

“I’m going to help Jimin plate the food, if you don’t mind can you go and help set the table?”

“Sure.”

As the others left something was bothering Hoseok.

“What is it hyung?”

“Does Joon know that I’m older than him?”

“He shouldn’t since we only told him that you and him are the same age. Why?”

“Hmm. Forget it. It’s nothing, I was just curious.”

“He didn’t call you hyung and you’re upset or sum?”

Hoseok didn’t say anything but looked Jimin in the eyes then went back to what he was doing.

 

When the food arrives, it came with a blue haired stranger.

“This is Yoongi hyung.” Hoseok introduced.

Yoongi, probably the same height as Jimin but has polar opposite aura and characteristics. He’s a lot paler, his frame looks smaller and frail. He doesn’t seem to have the charming glow that Jimin have but instead has this mysterious atmosphere. Something about him is intriguing to Namjoon but couldn’t quite put a finger on it. It’s hard to tell from a first glance. Don’t become too curious, it might just kill you. Maybe it's familiarity?

“Hi.”

“Hi Namjoon.” Yoongi gave a small smile, he looked as if he was going to hug Namjoon and cry. He sounded so defeated.

‘Did I do something wrong?’

Now that everyone has settled down, they began to eat their food. It was lively and cheerful while talking about this and that. It’s weird how comfortable this feels as if he has been in this group of friends for a very long time. It’s a contradicting feeling. Namjoon can feel it. A layer of tense awkwardness filming underneath the chattering. The way they dodge and curve their sentences as if they’re talking in codes, keeping it censored for Namjoon to understand enough but not all. They’re doing it so naturally, it’s annoying. Once in a while they’ll give each other subtle eye signals thinking Namjoon won’t notice, he did. For some reason, Namjoon’s really good at reading situations and picking up things that people normally won’t. It’s even worse when he’s in a new environment his senses want to pick every little detail up it’s kind of driving him insane.

After the hefty dinner, Yoongi and Jin were assigned to washing the dishes while Jimin dries them. The remaining were on their phone absorbed by the screen. Lucky them since Namjoon didn’t have a phone so he was left with fiddling with his drinking glass mindlessly.

“Who’s Kim Taehyung?” Namjoon said suddenly, everything stilled but the sound of the clock ticking.

TICK. TOCK. Tick. Tock. tick. tock.

 


	3. No Answers

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Words: 1150
> 
> Yeye! I don't know how to use my .,;'s and I think I'm muddling my present and past tenses.  
> I hope I wrote it better :P

The question stunned the trio, they weren’t expecting it. Those combinations of word hit them out of nowhere and they were shocked. Jungkook eyes widened as he stops what he was doing. He didn’t want to hear that question the most. He could feel his heartbeat slowing down from holding his breath; the time on his phone changed.

“No one. We don’t know him.” Jungkook answered monotonously.

‘No one?’

“Let me get this straight, Jeon Jungkook.” Namjoon empathised the boy’s name, focusing on the content in his drink glass. He has no interest in looking up to look at anyone.

“So, he’s just a no one? A on one who has unknown business with me. I don’t know what this Taehyung guy want from me but he’s not a no one. I did not get kidnapped, punched and was made to almost kill someone to get told he’s a no one. Don’t give me that bullshit, we don’t know him my ass. You seem to know him pretty well so why don’t you just tell me, Jeon Jungkook? Who’s. Kim. Taehyung?” A familiar warm was slowly blooming within his body with each word that was said. He made sure that even the people who were doing the dishes hear what he was saying as well.

“Oh, another thing, you guys can cut this display of friendly atmosphere. It’s intoxicating. I supposed it’s difficult trying to live like a normal citizen when you’re not.” If they’re not going to cooperate then Namjoon’s going to be like this.

Hoseok palm became clammy, “I don’t know what you’re talking about.” He tried to be as composed as he could.

“I could name two circumstances to confirm it.” Namjoon gestured with two fingers, his right-hand index and middle finger raised beside his head as his elbow rest on the table. He looks Hoseok dead in the eyes with a smile.

“One.” He lowered his index finger, leaving a passive aggressive, fuck you, mid-air for the others to see. He lowered it to rest his chin on his hand.

“What the fuck is up with that room I was in? It’s worse than being in at the hospital. If you’re trying to make someone go crazy, then congrats I’m one of them. And I’m pretty sure normal people don’t have these sorts of room in their building unless you have a profession in the medical field, I am pretty sure only like two of you guys have advanced knowledge in. I take that back no one should have a room like that, you could drive someone insane.

Two: His mobility skills and durability.” Namjoon pointed at Jungkook. “Easily being able to be calm in such a situation, run and dodge bullets while being injured. Name a normal citizen who can do that. He’s built like a person who’s a professional bodyguard or a part of a special train forces. Another thing, Jimin if you’re going to be carrying something like that you need to be more aware of your surroundings; I saw your gun when you went ahead into the kitchen. Hmm. Ah, and this.” Namjoon lowered his left hand under the table and felt around for a bit and pulled out a gun that was concealed under the table. He noticed it when he went to pick up a chopstick that rolls off and went under the table while he was clearing the table; when he was getting back up, he used his hands to feel where the table was so that he wouldn’t bump his head.

Silence.

Sign. “Cat got your tongue? Who even are you?”

‘Who am I? What the fuck am I even saying?

 

Namjoon is mentally and physically tired and wants to go home, he misses his bed and laptop. He just wants to pretend that none of this ever happened. It feels as if he died from one situation just be resurrected into another one.

Ever since he got here Yoongi seems to be the only one who’s not fazed by any of this, he looks happy more than anything. The more Namjoon unveil his feeling he more please he looked. Namjoon doesn’t understand.

The reason Yoongi is relieved was because Namjoon’s skills were still the same. They underestimated him a little bit too much. The years didn’t seem to deteriorate his skills one bit.

Namjoon got up rapidly causing his chair to fall over. He began to walk back in the direction of the room he was in, he’s confident the exit was in that direction after looking around while they were eating. He stopped at his track when Yoongi loudly shouted.

“Stop!” Everyone was surprised since it came from someone who rarely raises their voice.

“I’m not letting you leave after we finally have you.” Namjoon could feel the glare being sent toward his direction, piercing his spine.

‘What the was that even supposed to mean?

“I don’t even know who you guys are.” Namjoon’s confusing.

“But we know you.” Jimin pleading soft voice contrasted Yoongi’s harsher ones. “Please, Hyung stay. It’s not safe if you leave.”

“Then explain. Tell me what’s going on. Tell me everything. How am I supposed to know when you guys are starving me information? I feel like I’m going to vomit out more question the longer I stay here. I’m not going to understand unless you say. This game of charades isn’t fair when you guys are playing statues.” Namjoon spewed out, at this point, he doesn’t even know if what he said made sense.

“Namjoon, I promise you know us and could trust us. You’re our friend and our best -‘ Yoongi looked sharply at Jin.

Namjoon knew Jin was going to say something important before he was stopped. It’s so frustrating.

“You keep saying things like that. If I’m truly your friend, then why can’t you tell me? Who am I to you guys? The last time I checked, I’ve been living as any other normal citizen who had a good education life, an average full-time job that pays decently and I’m pretty sure none of you people or this Taehyung guy was in my life. I don’t. I don’t know you. Do I? Why does everyone keep saying they know me? Stop confusing me! You guys are driving me crazy!” Namjoon gradually raised his voice with every question said as he begins to panic. The more he searches and repeats his memory the more he began to doubt himself. He keeps thinking to himself whether his memories happened or if he made it up. What real? What not?

‘I’m not in denial, we’re not in denial. Who the fuck is we? Namjoon breath. Breath.’

His head hurts, the throbbing at his temples is talking to him, his vision is playing around with his view. His surrounding pulsed as his balance swayed and vision distorting then stop.

‘Ah, fuck.’


	4. [Esc]

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Word: 3146
> 
> This one is a bit lengthy.   
> I had to speed read through this twice. My mouth feels dry.

_In the dimly lit spotlight, Namjoon was alone, darkness surrounded him as it watches Namjoon sit dazedly in the vulnerable bubble._

_“Hyung don’t leave me! Please save me. Don’t leave me here.”_

_Sadness. Namjoon could feel and hear the sadness and angst coming from its voice. Faceless, the black figure standing in front him was featureless, pixelated and blurred out protecting its identity but he could feel the tears running down its face and the scrunching of its distressed features. The sound of wetness dropping unrealistically loud onto the concrete floor made Namjoon uncomfortable and more troubled than he already was. It knelt to Namjoon’s level as it tried to reach into the barrier of light. Namjoon followed its slender finger then to the slowly enlarging dark circles on the pale floor near Namjoon’s knees. He’s crying, mimicking the thing in front of him. Feeling what it feels._

_The figure abruptly shuddered as something began to pull it back. Slowly, as it moves involuntarily back into the depth of darkness; Namjoon reached out to grab hold of its hand, who was also was desperately trying to grab hold of Namjoon’s but the distance between them keeps getting further away. Their efforts were hopeless. The chains around Namjoon’s ankles wouldn’t allow him to move any further, his fingers tips couldn’t even leave the hazy fuzz of the light ringing around him. The more he shook at the chain the more it sounded like it was pleading for him not to go after it with each shackles clinks and rattles._

_Namjoon’s spotlight flickered rapidly, followed with a calm deep empty voice a few centimetres away from his ear._

_“Why won't you save me.”_

 

Namjoon woke up with a harsh intake of breath leaving him coughing weakly. He remembers the dream from the start to the end, he doesn’t understand the meaning of it. He doesn’t’ know if it’s a warning or a reminding fragment of his memory telling him something. He couldn’t shake its voice from his mind.

He’s back in that room again. It feels like a déjà vu, the pristine white ceiling and everything else in this room.

‘Hello ceiling, it’s nice to meet you again. I think this might be fate, we should exchange numbers.’

Ugh.

He hates this situation. Who wouldn’t? Maybe, those people who like seeing good looking people and suddenly thinks everything is okay and/or forgivable. Lowkey Stockholm syndrome shit.

‘Yikes, I got goosebumps thinking about it.’ Namjoon thought as he rubs his arms ridding the hairs that automatically stood up.

Namjoon is going to be needing to use his brain since laying around isn’t really going to help him get out of his imprisonment anytime sooner.

From what Namjoon have seen, the layout of the house is pretty easy to remember without much difficulties. If he remembers correctly, the building might be a single floored house since he didn’t see a staircase going up when they were on their way to the kitchen earlier; he won’t even doubt the possibilities of an upper floor. In the kitchen there’s a large windowpane and a glass slide door going out onto a garden, he might be able to make use of that later.

Thank God, luck was on Namjoon’s side. Being on the first floor is much easier to deal with than being higher up since he’ll have another obstacle to deal with. Namjoon doesn’t want any participation points in testing out whether he has any parkour skills stash away within in him or not.

The possibilities of him easily walking out of the building like he owns the place isn’t going to happen. There’s definitely a code or pass card lock system on the main entrance. The kitchen door to the garden is probably also locked.

‘I don’t know why I was so hopeful thinking that they wouldn’t have this place secured. Who would let their captive victim leave easily? Probably a criminal who's not doing a very good job at being a criminal. They should find another hobby.’

Anyways, with these divine circumstances, Namjoon wouldn’t even be surprised if the windows are bulletproof, a chair to the window and escaping is certainly not going to work if that was the case. With a garden that size, they’re most likely not in central Seoul. Even if a chair to the window plan worked, he’s going to struggle to find a way of getting home. However, there is a chance that they’re not far from Seoul since one of them said they mostly work in Seoul. Commuting far away all the time would be troublesome. Namjoon could probably take a bus or something, he needs to create a good distance to hide until he comes up with a more sufficient plan.

Firstly, he needs his belongings back or he’ll resort to stealing for his travelling fee. They won’t probably mind things going missing here and there. They look like they have cash to spend any day and every day.

Although he hasn’t seen a camera anywhere, he doubts there wasn’t any, they’ve probably thought and implemented an Escape Prevention - Namjoon Edition plan. How should he move around without being overly suspicious? Maybe he should cause a power shortage but there’s probably backup power supply. What should he do?

‘This is so complicated!’

Namjoon might as well be as obvious as he can. Might as well dance around the place naked while he’s at it. Being sarcastic by the way.

Namjoon got up from the bed not so elegantly and looked around the room to see if there’s anything that can aid his escaping plan.

‘Ah. There’s a cabinet in this room.’

He sluggishly dragged his feet to the white cabinet to see what’s inside. Pills here pills there, a confusing looking machine, chemicals, syringe, close the cabinet doors. Too many long-worded things and unknown things he doesn’t want to mess with, scary. Namjoon might not like them but he doesn’t want to kill them. There’s a high percentage he’ll accidentally end up ending his own life by creating random concoctions and getting hit by the fumes.

He’ll somehow knock them out.

After loitering around in the room for a bit Namjoon wanted to see if they’ve caged him in or not. Surprise, he wasn’t.

‘Should have tried this sooner.’

When he leaves the room, to his left there’s the door to his freedom. As he expected there was a passcode card lock system.

On the other side of him there were three white doors, equally spaced going toward the kitchen. On Namjoon side there were two other doors mirroring the opposite side. As he walks down, he checked each door to see if they were locked. All of them were except the bathroom and the one directly opposite Namjoon’s current bedroom, he’ll keep that in mind for later. In the living room, there’s a locked door to somewhere. He also checked the door to the garden, it’s locked.

Bang!

The chair didn’t work. It also somehow survived.

He raided every cupboard, draws, nook and crooks and kept all his findings in his memory in case they’ll have some sort of value in his plan. But now he’s hungry.

While he was looking around in the fridge for something easy to eat, he was startled by a familiar voice.

“Hungry?” Jungkook questioned after seeing the older scanning the fridge.

Namjoon knew Jungkook couldn’t see his eye roll but he couldn’t help doing it anyway. “I don’t know. I might just be using the coldness from this contraption to preserve my brain.” He replied sarcastically.

Jungkook gave an awkward laugh. “I brought chicken wings, pizza and Jjajangbap if you want some.” The younger male said while taking the food out of the carrier bag.

‘Such good timing.’

“Where’re the others.” Namjoon said while striding to the pizza.

“Work.” The younger replied. Namjoon expected something similar so he wasn’t surprised, he just needed a conversation starter. He’ll play the clueless fool for now.

“Aha. When will they be back?”

“In two or three days. You miss them?” Jungkook asked with a raised brow and a smirk.

‘As if.’

 

By the time they’ve finished eating, it has gotten dark outside; they decided to relocate to the leaving room to watch a movie as Namjoon had requested. They decided on watching one of the Avengers film series, Namjoon wasn’t paying much attention to it, he was too focused on thinking of a plan. He needs to be clever with this. While his noggin was doing its thing, he was blankly staring at Jungkook who sat on the single sofa to his left. It’s unintentionally. Truthfully, he was trying to look for weak points but got distracted by his thoughts and blanked out.

“What are you staring so intensely at? Am I too handsome?” Jungkook said suddenly startling Namjoon. The younger didn’t even look away from the TV screen.

‘What the fuck. Where did the cockiness and confidence come from?’

“I want popcorn.” Namjoon didn’t quite know where the I want popcorn came from, but he’ll play along since the card is already laid out like this.

“We ran out.”

“I want popcorn.” He said sternly this time.

Jungkook gave a defeating sign. “Fine.” He paused the movie then got up.

‘Obedient.’

“Where you going?” Namjoon asked childishly with a pout. His eyes following the younger’s movement: from putting a discarded hoody on, getting his wallet to moving out of the living room into the kitchen.

“To get your popcorn. I won’t be long, there’s a convenience store not too far from here. Be good and wait for me okay. See you in a bit sweetheart.” He looked directly into Namjoon’s eye with some sort of a challenging glint. The older of the two waved his hand signifying a goodbye.

When he walked out of the room Namjoon cringed at being called sweetheart and more at his childish roleplay. He plopped back onto the sofa resting his head back, he closed his eyes and listened to the other’s footsteps. Namjoon calmed his busied mind and breathing. He could hear the footstep fading out the further Jungkook went away from him. He imagined what was happening: the quiet shuffle of shoes being put on, the key card sliding into its slot, the pad beeping, the turning of the door handle mechanics ticking and then the sound of the door being closed. Click.

He let time tick for a moment.

He inhaled slowly through his nose, held it then released it through his mouth.

‘Oh man. My breath sticks of cheese.’

He opened his eyes and got up, walking quickly towards the door opposite his current room. He neatly raided the wardrobe, finding an unused black backpack and stuffing it with several articles of clothing to change into as well as other necessary things from draws and desk. When Namjoon finished his stealing *cough*borrowing*cough* session, he returned things he took out back into its place like it hasn’t been touched. He went into his room and placed the bag onto the sofa before going into the cabinet.

Namjoon went back to the living room like nothing has happened. If there were cameras, fuck it, he’ll go with the you never know until you try saying; Jungkook was probably suspicious of him because of his lil uwu act anyway. As said before if you’re going to be obvious might as well as obvious as you can be. Now all he has to do is wait for the younger to come back.

 

By the time Jungkook came back, Namjoon nearly fell asleep.

‘Not long my ass.’

Jungkook placed a packet of popcorn onto Namjoon’s head, the older retrieved the bag with a huff. The younger walked around the sofa to place other sweeties and goods onto the small glass coffee table then sat back down in his assigned spot. They carried on watching the movie, this time Namjoon actually paid full attention and was immersed in it. When the movie came to an end, Namjoon asked for the remote to watch something on the discovery channel since he has nothing else to do.

Several minutes into the show Namjoon throat felt dry from all the popcorn he had ingested. He lazily got up and dragged himself into the kitchen to get something to drink.

‘Jungkook, do you want something to drink?’

‘Beer please.’

Namjoon came back with a pack of beer, his coke and some leftover pizza. The show was pretty good but it’s not what he wants right now, he flicked through the channels until he found something interesting. They were like that for a comfortable hour; Jungkook playing on his phone and Namjoon mindlessly watching whatever was on.

“Kook.”

The younger hummed.

“Come here.” Namjoon said as he sat up from his sleeping position.

Jungkook walked over to the older, eyes stuck on his phone which laid within his dominant hand. Namjoon grabbed hold the younger’s unoccupied hand, pulling him toward the sofa and then swiftly straddling the younger’s lap.

“What are you doing?” The younger was confused by the questionable action. He turned the phone screen off and placed it on the sofa.

Namjoon nonchalantly shrugged his shoulders. He looked Jungkook in the eyes as a small smile curve his lips, he raised his hand and stoke the younger’s face gently for a couple for seconds. He stopped his affectionate gesture and turned towards the table to grab a can of beer. Namjoon turned back to face the younger, open the sealed can and place some of its content into his mouth. He leant forward so their lips met. Sensing what the older was trying to do, the younger parted his lips accepting the warm liquid. It was messy; the beer dripped pass their parting mouths, onto their chins and the younger’s t-shirt. Jungkook happily swallowed the drink.

‘This is beyond gross. Kids these days.’

“What did you make me swallow?” Jungkook gave a dangerous glare sending a warning shiver down the Namjoon spine.

He quickly turned towards the table and picks up a small packet of hard candies. He turned back and shook the packet once to make the content rattle then put it on the sofa beside him. He lifts his can of beer to Jungkook’s eye level, swaying the liquid inside from side to side.

“One more?” Namjoon asked with a dimpled smirk and a cute tilt of his head to the side.

 Jungkook nodded way too eagerly.

The one more happens once more but this time it turned into a make-out session; it slowly became steamier as the younger’s hands started to roam underneath Namjoon’s top.

‘Oh shit. This is dangerous. Abort. Abort. Motherfucking abort.’

Namjoon gently pushed away and placed his forehead onto Jungkook’s shoulder, the overpowering smell of beer was sickening. He whined a quiet I’m tired. The younger chuckled as he fetches the remote to turn off the tv. He effortlessly picks the older up and carried him towards Namjoon’s room. As they got closer, Namjoon tightened his hold around the younger’s neck while shaking his head. Namjoon mentally cries to himself.

‘Ugh. What the living fucks am I doing! This is too much. I’m so shameless. Please purify me of my shameful sins, Holy ones.’

Jungkook will see the bag if he went in.

The younger signed and opens his room, the one Namjoon stole from. Oops. He carefully placed Namjoon down but the older wouldn’t detach himself from the younger.

“Hyung I need to wash up, my top is sticky from the beer.”

“Then take it off.”

‘Hakfdngifn. I would like to evaporate into air please.’

Jungkook signs in defeat. “I’m just going to go wash up. I won’t be long.”

The younger came out of the bathroom a short while later. Namjoon doesn’t know where to look. Jungkook walked out topless showing off his _you know_ as he wipes some leftover water droplets off his handsome face.

‘Which kdrama did he walk out of?’

He tosses the towel onto a chair and crawled into the bed; he then hauls the cover over both of them. Jungkook pulled Namjoon closer so that the older face was in the younger’s chest. Namjoon would be lying if he said he wasn’t a little bit flushed. At this point in life right now so many people would love to be him. Suck to be them.

Namjoon laid completely still to make it seem he has fallen asleep; he even closed his eyes to make it seem as realistic as possible. He did that for a couple of minutes, about three to be exact.

“Kook you’re hugging me too tightly.”

No reply.

‘Good. This is good. Really good.’

But there’s a bit of a problem. The younger’s embrace was no joke, Namjoon was actually being held a bit too tightly. Namjoon had to lightly blow onto the younger’s neck and chin several times just for the younger to stir in his sleep. He took this opportunity and quickly but gently roll off the bed to minimise any noise and movement.

‘Have a nice deep sleep Kookie. Wuv u lutz. Keke. Hablawahahahh.’

Before anything else, Namjoon went hunting for the younger’s wallet then went fetch the backpack in his room, returning to the door to put on a pair of compatible shoes. He feels like he should write them a letter, on a line of:

_To people,_

_I, Kim_ modafada _king of Joon would like to express my gratitude to the residents of this house for nursing me back into health with your kind treatments. I would also like to ask a minor favour of leaving me the_ fuk _alone from now on._

_Kind regards, the love of your life._

Namjoon ended up writing it after finding a piece of paper and a pen; he nipped it on top of the locking system. He fished the key card out of the younger’s wallet and slid the card into its slot. The clicking of the lock and door made his knees weak.

‘Finally.’

When he stepped out into the open world, it felt as if he had completed a mission in a game. The congratulation screen popping up with a here’s your reward for your hard work, freedom.

*POW!*Imaginary confetti*POW!* *POW!*

Now that Namjoon thought about it, he hasn’t once thought or wondered about what time it was while he was in there since he woke up. Strange. It’s probably early in the morning right now, that’s okay, disappearing during the night is easier than daytime since there isn’t a massive light bulb occupying the sky. He turned back to look at the building and noticed that there was a second floor and the house is pretty big.

‘Whatever.’

Namjoon walked out of the gate and turned right because everything will be alright going right, right?


	5. My Friends

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Words: 2121  
> Special thanks to [Panda3400] [i_got_more_ships_than_the_navy] [RedHaya31] for helping me when I asked a question on the first I'm Not Lost post.
> 
> I'm still amazed people can read what I wrote there were a lot of errors (hopefully not so much now). Still don't know how to use my punctuations. Soz.  
> Finding images I want to use is so time consuming!
> 
> Enjoy :) (Thanks for reading!!)

God knows what time it is, all Namjoon know is that he has been walking long enough for the critter of spring to orchestrate some morning tunes as he does some more walking along a wooded path he decided to go down. He shouldn’t have felt adventurous and branched out from the straight paved path he was walking on; he could have found a convenience store by now. He’s about to die from exhaustion, starvation and dehydration. Not even exaggerating.

‘I’m so thirsty.’

Namjoon sighs, kicking a stone in front of him into the bush.

Where even is he right now, the houses he had walked pass were so widely spread out it feels as if he’s somewhere isolate. There’s not a lot of cars passing by. He hasn’t even seen a single person out and about but that’s understandable since he’s kind of in the early morning and was in the dead of night. Still, do people not go for a run or walk their dog?

‘Seriously, where the hell am I?’

 

The path wasn’t short nor long, but the unevenness of the dirt ground made it tiring even though there wasn’t even much of a distance to reach the end of the path to make it this overly tiresome. But this, this was exhausting for Namjoon. He has been walking for so long he could feel the muscles in his leg slightly tightening with each step. He squatted down, taking a short rest and observing the greenery in front of him.

The dry dirt pathway. The trail’s wooden fence securing the walls of trees from eating up the existence of the pathway as the overgrown luscious green grass and moss crawl and intertwine the worn out leg of the wooden planks. The trees grew tall and wide, almost creating a thick canopy of weaving leaves up high, complimenting the changing colours of the sky. The sun sneaking through whatever gaps it could. The pollen, winged insect and dust dancing within the light breeze in an out of the soft light pillars.

Namjoon removed the backpack to retrieve a hoodie as it was getting a bit chillier than before. He got up and did a bit of stretching, huffing in a lung full of fresh air before he starts walking again.

Finally reaching the end, he discovered a small park connected to it. He quickly walked through the play area and exited the park, bring him to well populated area of houses clustering close together.

‘Yes.’

He pretty much skipped down the pavement exploring the newly discovered place. Luckily, he didn’t have to walk far to finally come across a small convenience store.

It felt as if Namjoon was standing in front of the gateway to heaven. Sadly, it’s not opened yet. Even heaven have opening time okay. He decided to explore more of this town. He wanted to see if there are any bus stops and where does it take him.

Surprisingly there wasn’t anywhere Namjoon ventured to, maybe there’s not much of them and are only in specific places. He didn’t’ feel like wandering far.

When he got back to the convenience store, the light glowing through the transparent glass that hasn’t been blocked by advertisement posters guided him like a moth to a flame. Heaven is finally opened. He joyfully walked towards the entrance enthusiastically, arms swinging childlike. He b lined straight to the drinks section at the back without even batting an eye on any other goodies on the shelves he had passed by. The middle-aged cashier was probably judging him. He desperately needs his daily dosage of coffee. After claiming several drinks, he went to look for something to eat. He just needed something inexpensive to fulfil his hunger. He’s on a tight budget. Probably. Namjoon forgot to check how much was in the wallet. He should have gotten a basket instead of trying to juggle the items within his arms.

When Namjoon came out of the store after paying for his stuff, the sky has become much brighter, his time loitering within the shadow has come to an end. He suddenly feels a bit anxious since he would need to be more aware of his surroundings, the world might be big, but fate and coincidence does wonders. Namjoon doesn’t want to lower his escaping chances by going around asking questions and looking out of place. He’s afraid that if everyone in this town happens to know each other he might be found. He should probably risk it and ask someone for help but he’s a bit scared.

Namjoon opens a can of chilled coffee with a satisfying click, he took a tester sip of some of the liquid goodness. It may be cheap and not the best of quality but right now it’s all Namjoon could have asked for.

He doesn’t know what to do; he couldn’t find a single bus stops and he doesn’t know where he is. Namjoon sat on a wooden bench stationed in front of the store. He sat there thinking what seems like for hours thinking of what to do while munching on the things he bought. If only the telephone both a stride away was in order.

‘Guess I ran out of luck.’

He doesn’t have much time. Namjoon hopes will all his will that Jungkook is still asleep.

 

‘I really hope this shit works.’

Namjoon took a deep breath to calm his nervousness before going back into the convenience store and walk up to the counter.

“Excuse me, sorry for being really inconvenient but may I borrow a phone for a couple of seconds please?” He probably sounds really weird.

‘I swear I’m not a polite robber.’

The cashier questionably looked at him but also seem as if she was asking for more to prove his innocence.

“You see, I’m kinda lost and my phone is somewhere on this planet. The phone booth in front of the store is out of order and I don’t know where the nearest one is. I really don’t know where I am, and I want to call my friend so that he can come and pick me up.”

‘Please buy my twenty-five percent bull and a half shit! I’ll pay.’

The cashier stood there for a couple of seconds thinking whether or not to give her phone to a stranger. She slowly took out her phone from her pocket then passes it to Namjoon.

“Thank you so much.” Namjoon beamed brightly as he politely took her phone and dial his friend number. Thankfully he remembers a few in case shit happens contacts he can call at any time of day.

Brrr..Brrr...........Brrr..Brrrr...........Br

“Please pick up!”

rr-

“Hello? Who is this?” The receiver of the call tone was full of uncertainty and a big hand full of I just woke up.

“Oh my God, Hyung. You answered.” Namjoon would feel his eyes watering.

“Namjoon!? Why are you calling? Is this your new number?”

“No, this isn’t my number. I’m currently using a store worker’s phone right now. I lost my phone and I’m lost. Can you come pick me up?”

“You idiot. What do you mean you’re lost? It’s five in the morning for fuck sakes!”

‘Five in the morning? Oh shit! I would have been in bed right now. Ugh. What a shame.’

Namjoon completely forgot to check the time on the cashier's phone; a sigh could be heard coming from the other side.

“Where are you? Give me an address. Never mind. Ask the owner of this phone if she or he doesn’t mind sending the address to me. I’ll be there as quickly as possible.”

“Okay. Thanks, hyung.”

“Bye.” Defeated, his tones sounded done.

When the call ended, he looked at the cashier with puppy eyes, he knew she heard everything so. She gave him an you’re pathetic sigh. He gave her back phone for her to do her thing.

‘I wonder why I’ve been hearing a lot more sighs lately. I’m fucking sorry, okay?’

“I’ve sent the store’s location to your friend. You can wait at the back if you want, you look like you could catch up on some rest. I’ll wake you up when your friend is here.”

“Thank you so much. You’re a real lifesaver.”

The cashier directed Namjoon into the staff room. He went to a foldable chair and try to get as comfortable as possible.

 

“Kid, wake up he’s here.” The cashier woke Namjoon up by lightly shaking his shoulders.

Namjoon wanted to run out of the store at full speed but that would be rude and mannerless. After thanking the cashier for the nth time, he exited the store and ran toward his friend’s car then entered it. He waved enthusiastically at his friend.

“I want a full explanation on why you’re two hours lost from home.” Jiho demanded sternly.

Namjoon dropped his upbeat attitude, “Start the car and I’ll tell you when I feel like it.” He replied emotionlessly.

An hour into the ride Namjoon suddenly started a standard conversation of: how things were going, what he been up to lately, how is [name] doing, etc. Jiho being a good friend he is noticed that it would ease his friend into talking about the core of the reason he’s driving him home.

“I got kidnapped.”

Out of nowhere, without even blending out the conversation they were having. Jiho is pretty sure Namjoon changed the conversation topic whilst he was mid-way through his own talking.

Jiho nearly stopped his car right then and there, in the middle of the road. He was so close to being several people behind him calamity.

“What? By who?”

“Don’t know.” Namjoon does know but he doesn’t want to say.

“Do you want to go to the police station? I can take you.”

“No, it’s fine.”

“Are you sure? I can take you.”

“No. It’s. Fine.” Namjoon looked at Jiho with a fake smile, but his eyes looked so clouded and empty.

 

Jiho didn’t say anything after that, throughout the years they’ve known each other he rarely sees his friend like this and it’s worrying him. When they were close to Namjoon’s place, only one and a half mile away. He could sense the dark aura emitting from the other, when Jiho side eye his friend he could see Namjoon’s eyebrows knitting together, eyes focusing intensely at something but nothing, he’s biting the inner cuticles of his left-hand thumb as his other hand fidget with the fabric of his trousers. He’s in a deep trancing thought.

“You’re going to stay at mine for a while.” Jiho turned back to the direction of his apartment without hearing a response from Namjoon.

Namjoon only replied with a hum after repeating Jiho word multiple times in his head and understanding it.

‘Shit, Namjoon. What happened to you? Should I call Jackson?’

 

It didn’t take long for Jiho to get to his apartment.

Jiho roommate, Kyung, welcomed Namjoon with a bright smile and a warming hug when they entered the apartment. Namjoon gave a small smile and hugged him back, quickly detangle themselves so he can mindlessly walk into the living room to plop down onto the sofa, face first. Kyung looked at Jiho worryingly at the younger’s action.

 “I’ll tell you about it later.” Jiho whispered as he walks pass the other to get to Namjoon.

Jiho sat on the edge of the sofa where an exhausted Namjoon head laid. He looked at the Namjoon lovingly; gently running his hand through the younger’s hair, he kissed the crown of his head as Namjoon falls into his slumber.

He headed to his room to get a cover for the younger.

When he came back, he placed the cover over the younger; making sure that the cover is tucked in securely. He was planning on moving the younger into one of their room, but he thinks Namjoon would rather be left alone to sleep peacefully.

He went into Kyung’s room after giving the younger's hair a soft ruffle.

Kyung was on his phone doing his personal leisure business of scrolling through social media when Jiho enters the room.

“So?”

“Don’t freak out. Namjoon got kidnapped.”

“What?” Kyung ripped his attention away from his mobile device and looked at Jiho.

Jiho quickly covered the person who’s a little bit too shocked about Namjoon’s situation mouth.

“Quieten down.”

“What should we do? Should we call Jackson?”

“We should move out of here and go back to them, do we have time?”

“I think we should call Jackson.”

“No, we got this. We’ve looked after him before. We can do it again. We. I can do it a thousand more time and I wouldn’t of mind.”


	6. Memories of You and Us

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Words: 2052
> 
> I hate this chapter.  
> I hate how long it took me to do. My dumbass thought it was a good idea to change it up when I was doing the final reread.  
> I still don't like this chapter. If it didn't make sense. I'm sorry okay. I really did try (ಥ‸ಥ)  
> Screw this chapter! Let me be a whining bItCh! Now I feel like I should reread and re-edit it kfhkjSFGIFNIGSUjgbj

It has been roughly six hours since Namjoon had left Jungkook alone in his slumbering state. The younger woke up feeling slightly drowsy, he could feel a minor headache forming at his temples as he sat up leaning against the headboard. His headache grew worse as he tries to remember what happened last night.

“Hyung.”

He ran his hand gently over the surface of where Namjoon would have been. Cold.

“Shit.”

Jungkook ripped the comforter off of him and ran out of his room. His heart beating wildly as if there were butterflies chaotically revolving around within his cardiac tissue. He’s not thinking properly; he’s running mindlessly checking every room that he knew the older has access to. He checked it again and again but there was no sign of the older. Heck, he even checked rooms that were locked. He just wanted to find the older but the fact that he couldn’t was driving him insane.

“Shit. Where did he go? Why did he leave? It’s not safe out there. No. I need to get him back. He’s not allowed to leave. Hyung ’s gone again…”

In the middle of the dining room, Jungkook stood there as he clawed at his scalp and pulled his hair out of frustration. He stayed like that for several minutes questioning everything; his failure, his incapability, his weakness and so on.

He snaps out of his mini questioning crisis when a notification ping from the living room where it was left yesterday night. When he went to fetch his phone, he laughed hollowly.

“If only you took the phone with you, finding you would be so much more easier.”

For some reason, a grin began to creep onto Jungkook’s lips. Maybe it’s the feeling of reassurance caused by a certain hyung cautious antics making him feel a sense of nostalgia.

He plopped down onto the sofa; limbs spread out as if they were repelling away from each other.

Sigh.

He had painfully waited patiently for moments like this for so long. To finally got meet the one who he had thought had left him forever. He had waited and waited; his patient thinned as his expectation was not met throughout the years of waiting. How did he let him go this easily?

Ever since that day, no one knew where Namjoon was. Jungkook saw Namjoon unconscious body being carried away by someone as he helplessly began to lose his consciousness to his injuries.

When he woke up from his coma several months later, he did nothing else but looked for Namjoon. It was hopeless. Namjoon’s existence was completely erased. Taehyung couldn’t find a piece of single information about the older, not even the ones before the accident. Gone. Everything. Like he never existed. As time went by Jungkook started to lose his mind, he doesn’t even know what was real or not anymore; he wasn’t sure if Namjoon even existed. Jungkook’s madness was like a disease spreading to those close by. Everyone began to break as they watch Jungkook deteriorate. Yoongi tried to stop the younger from searching any further but it only triggered him and made him lash out mercilessly. Many were wounded that day. No one dared to stop him again.

Home became just a place to rest. There’s nothing worthy to come back to as the house became emptier. When they do group up for business purposes it was just hollow mutual feeling toward each other. Jungkook would always be filthy with blood that’s not his own. Taehyung began going out doing field work with Jimin rather than being their informant behind the scene. Jimin went back to being the old Jimin, dragging Taehyung down the hole with him. Seokjin and Hoseok didn’t know what to do or where to go so they stayed with Yoongi. They had tried to fix this. They were tired. Mentally and physically. The gap that they tried to fix keeps ripping itself apart. Taehyung left without a single word one night. No one cared.

Jimin cried.

Yoongi had enough watching everyone including himself fall and put his foot down. Namjoon would have wanted him to do this. He, Seokjin and Hoseok dealt with Jungkook with an uncertain promise after exchanging hits and kick. They were bloodied and bruised. Jimin was a hard case. He had locked himself in his room after the day Taehyung left. In the end, Jungkook had to break down the door to get in; the room was a mess, everything was slashed and destroyed. They found Jimin leaning emotionless against the bathroom wall burning pictures of them in the bathtub. Their precious memories.

“If you can’t bring them back then you might as well not have them.” Was all Jimin said.

Jin hugged the younger tightly as he told the same uncertain promise to Jimin. Jimin didn’t say anything as he watches the fire slowly eats the rest of the photo up.

For some time, they’ve searched around for Taehyung, but couldn’t find him. On day Jimin told them to give up since it didn’t matter anymore. He’s over it. They still kept searching until they understood why Jimin said those words. Taehyung was now leading Tigers after his deceased father. According to gossips, Taehyung had killed his father in order to take over the empire out of boredom. It didn’t sound like the Taehyung they knew but the chilling grin plaster on Jimin’s face said otherwise.

It was hard getting back on their feet and continue doing what they’ve been doing back when they were a whole group of seven lost souls. They were getting better at adapting to their losses. They were trying to make it work even when some parts of them were missing. They had to continue on living.

Yoongi took Namjoon’s place and became the leader of their group with Jin as his right-hand man. Hoseok became their informant while occasionally doing some field work. Jimin and Jungkook stayed as field workers. Honestly, their group wasn’t anything big just a group of people doing not so legal things; they don’t go around finding trouble unless trouble finds them, they don’t have underlings, close to zero rivals. Just individuals working together to find comfort in this corrupted and selfish world.

Throughout the four years that had passed, they’ve busied themselves with work, some legal and some not; it unintentionally made a name for themselves. They were and still are an unnamed group within the underground scene but was well known enough to be respected by those who are powerful and feared.

Then it happened. It finally happened.

Jimin was out on a job on a part of town he usually never goes down, that was when he saw a tall familiar being crossing the road in front of him. Jimin told everyone when he was done with what he was assigned to do that day. From that day they camouflaged in with the residents until they could confirm it was him.

Jungkook was the most excited about hearing the new, they haven’t seen the younger this lively in a very long time.

He was desperate to see what Jimin saw. He’s a bit disappointed that he wasn’t the one who saw him first. He’s feeling that desperation from four years ago again the selfish desperation that hopes and wishes with all his might for his hyung to come back so that everything can go back to how they were. Even if it will hurt others, himself and Namjoon, he doesn’t care.

He’s desperate for it to go back to how it was the seven of them, together, going through life like living on a boat on a vast and unpredictable sea. It didn’t matter if they crashed and drown, as long as they are together nothing mattered to him.

 

“Hello?”

“Sorry hyung, he got away. I couldn’t keep him from leaving.” Jungkook voice started to waver at the thought.

It was silent for a couple of seconds before the other responded, “Don’t worry about it. You and I knew this would happen. It was just a matter of when. It just happened sooner than we expected that’s all. Don’t think too much about it, what is our will always be ours.”

“Yoongi hyung, can we really go back? Even if it did, would it be the same?”

“Although you can look back at the path you’ve walked, you can never walk down it again. You may have to walk down a similar path, but it will never be the same. We’ll have to live with what we got, learn from what we’ve experienced and if we make the same mistake then we got no one to blame but ourselves. The Namjoon that we knew might not come back but he will always be Namjoon. Have more faith in him and our fate.”

“Okay hyung, thank you for comforting me. I really needed it.”

“As long as you’re feeling better, I’m glad to help. We’ll talk later okay. I got a meeting in a few minutes.”

“Okay, bye hyung.”

 

When the call ended a big grin crept on his face once again.

“What is our will always be ours.”

He sat there thinking, analysing and understanding his hyung’s mischievous actions. Jungkook had let guard down and got stabbed without him noticing. He should have paid much more attention to when Namjoon was acting in such a way, it’s was really unfair for Jungkook when Namjoon acted like that when he was being persistent about that damn popcorn. It’s hard to say no. At first, Jungkook only went along with it because he wanted to see what will happens next, but curiosity killed a cat.

The next act that trapped Jungkook was too cruel for the younger to handle. Namjoon’s little play, page 3, act deux. Thinking about it was making Jungkook a bit flustered. He didn’t think of much when the older called him over, but it did catch him off guard when he was pulled, he should have done something when his hyung was straddling his lap, but he couldn’t, he didn’t want to.

He could have avoided all of this if he had been more cautious when he swallowed something back then. In the heat of the moment, he was so engulfed by the mood his hyung had successfully crafted that it lured him willingly into his hyung carefully made trap. The way the older made it seem like it was the candy that the younger had swallowed was impressive since Namjoon wasn’t the one to be that good at acting. Where did he learn such skill from? It’s either Namjoon presence is doing things to him or his skills are rustic lately. Something like this shouldn’t have fooled him this easily.

It didn’t take much for Jungkook to know what he was fed. A sleeping pill. Too bad Jungkook senses started to get drowsy at a good part. He could still remember how smooth his hyung skin was, where the dips and curve were and how warm he felt. The only reason he was conscious for so long was sheer willpower. When Namjoon pulled away he felt disappointed but relieved; imagine falling asleep during such moment. If that did happen Jungkook would probably have to bury himself every single time he sees the older male.

At the very least Namjoon didn’t make some sort of weird concoction of chemicals and pumped it into Jungkook’s system; if he did then that would be the end of Jungkook. A chill run through his body at the thought. This hyung wasn’t the best at making anything none lethal. Jungkook was Namjoon’s guinea pig once and will forever be once. The first and last time had Seokjin reviving him from the dead. Literally. Jungkook thinks his soul also left that day as well. Ever since that day he was banned from making anything, even with precise instruction. It’s better if you flatline, honestly.

Jungkook’s hands always become clammy when he thinks about it. He decided that it’s probably a good idea to go out and fetch something to feast on and take a breather somewhere for a while. At least talking to Yoongi and remembering his death experience made him feel slightly better.

 

“What is mine will always be mine.”


End file.
